Uncomfortably Tall Adventures

The Adventure So Far
Season 1 Recap

Season 1 of the UTA was played in the summer of 2010.

The original Uncomfortably Tall Adventurers included the human paladin Leif Blaze, the human ranger Vanguard Forthwind, the halfing rogue Rusty of Wheale Borough, the tiefling wizard Harold Helmfist, and the half-elf cleric Celeborn. They were conscripted out by the Temple of Avandra (and Paladin School) in Fallcrest to come to the aid of Sister Linora, a troubled priestess residing in the small town of Winterhaven who had reported some disturbing cult activities. And so, four travelers of prodigious height, and one unusually tall halfing, burst onto the world stage.

Facing down the dragon
Season 1.5

The UTA reconveined briefly during their hiatus for a special between-seasons adventure. This was GM’d by the now-retired Harold Helmfist who was kind enough to provide the following summary. If you think it’s long now you should have seen the first draft. Thanks, Harold!

After many perilous, agonizingly starved weeks of merciless travel (2 days), the Uncomfortably Tall Adventurers, eastbound upon the King’s road, succumbed to their fits of emaciated delirium and followed Rusty Wheale Borough into the twisting maze that is the Gardbury Downs, in search of fame, fortune, and a good meal. It was there, during the night that that the heroic quartile (the Archbishop, Harold, had left the group) met an unfortunately and uncomfortably overweight gnome, layered about his person with patches of armor, fat, and hair. His name was Laird.

The adventure begins
Prologue to Season 2

When people look at a dwarf they expect thick armor, a thicker beard, and a taste for ale. Well, Slater Grimmjow had all of these things and a surly attitude to boot, but he was nevertheless not a typical dwarf.

Into the Labyrinth
The UTA kicks off its second season with a heaping helping of adventure-times

Rusty and Vanguard began the newest season of the UTA innocently enough – with employment! Slater Grimmjow, the cigar-chomping acting CEO of House Bailey, met with them at the House’s headquarters in Fallcrest in order to finalize the terms of their engagement. This amounted to 100gp weekly in exchange for adventuring services tendered. The catch: the UTA would also be teaching the young eladrin Fin Bailey a thing or two about life outside his bubble. The other catch: their first assignment is to pursue Grimmjow’s grandiose ambitions to pioneer interplanar trade between Fallcrest and the city of Gloomwrought in the Shadowfell. Rumors say that a sufficiently stable portal may exist in the dark catacombs beneath Thunderspire. Hey, at least now they’re getting paid to chase after the enslaved Rusty’s dad and Splug.

Enter the Fist
Wherein the whereabouts of Splug is revealed and Vanguard Forthwind is sold into slavery.

This week’s summary courtesy of the man behind Fin Bailey (and the late Harold). Cheers

Bornfist attacks!!!
Murder holes! dire wolves! douchebags!—None are a match for the Uncomfortably Tall Adventurers.
Fin Bailey, desperate for a way out of the web of lies he has created in promising to eradicate the Grimmerzhul from the Seven-Pillared Hall, convinces the UTA that keeping one of the Duergar who is fighting with Jack Bornfist hostage to bargain with his diminutive, red-haired business partners. The plan was unsound.

Storming the Keep
Who needs Leif anyway?

Durvik Redstone paced restlessly around the slave pit, his iron boots making a loud clack-clack on the flagstones. He was finally going to go through with it; he was going to propose to Framarth, the new Theurge with the really cute maul. Who knows, maybe he’d start a family with Framarth somewhere, maybe Silvershield in the North. Yeah, once this shift was over he would finally be able to lose this day job and follow his dreams as a painter. He eyed a nearby spiny devil nervously – he appreciated everything Asmodeus had done for the duergar, but did they really need to keep these monsters so close? What rotten luck to wind up working in a place like the Horned Hold.

Dungeons & Dragons: The Animated Series
Who needs Rusty anyway?

This week’s log brought to you by the man behind our favorite bearded-hero, Vanguard Forthwind.

Fresh from the conquest of the Horned Hold and the their tangle with the bronze warder, our band of brave adventurers returned to the Seven-Pillared Hall and hit the ground running. Fin and Leif returned the stolen amulet to Orontor of the Mages of Saruun, who quickly expressed concerns about one of their number, a certain Paldemar. Perhaps Paldemar had gone rogue! Orontor hired out our heroes to track him down and investigate his nefarious dealings in his spooky subterranean tower. Meanwhile, Vanguard and Orsik proudly returned to House Bailey, and Noristo presented them with a map to the Well of Demons in exchange for flushing out the Duergar. Rusty took this opportunity to get into all kinds of trouble.

The Tower of Mysteries!
Beating up old men and dogs alike

This week’s log provided by our own Finn Bailey, although I was forced to edit it viciously on account of rampant sassiness. Cheers!

New Towers! Norkers! New Yorkers! The Uncomfortably Tall Adventurers find themselves finding wizards! Wizards named Paldemar! He’s in a tower you guys…. At ye’ olde bottom of Paldemar’s tower the only entrance, a scintillating circle of teleportation, finds itself finding a guardian who finds the secrets of prospective wizard-finders. WHAT A COINCIDENCE! The UTA are wizard-finders. And so now they have to divulge their deepest, dankiest secrets to a creepy, one-eyed aspect of Vecna, the creepy, one-eyed god of secrets:

  • Vanguard would mercilessly slaughter Jack Bornfist, who may or may not have looted his sister’s dungeon.
  • Orsik told Vecna absolutely everything there is to know about his character, and then retconned it by saying he was a woman.
  • Leif Blaze… well, he likes to fight things you guys.
  • Rusty is in jail right now because he picked a fight with Brugg, and let me tell you, Brugg hates picking. That’s not really a secret though, he’s just in jail.
  • Fin was beaten as a child (no surprise there – ed.).
The Well of Demons
Featuring that other kind of dwarven hops

Leif Blaze had to sit this one out, so we are pleased to welcome Lumpy for the second time this season! Some mysterious requirement must have been satisfied, because this time Lumpy represented his very own character, the newest member of the UTA: Terroc Stormbourne!

The UTA, minus Leif Blaze, pressed deeper in to the Well of Demons, and oh boy did things get demonic fast. As they delved through the dungeon they were treated to periodic glimpses of the Abyss: the ground cracked, the walls warped, and the air itself was choked with a fiendish flame. Deep in the pillared halls of the Well ghosts of ancient minotaurs moaned in anguish. Despite Vanguard’s whispered pleas, Finn engaged in a bargain with a mysterious demonic emissary from the court of Demogorgon. He learned of some of the obstacles ahead, including Rusty’s father’s impending doom! Soon, however, Finn felt a strange presence assail his mental defenses – he could only guess at what had transpired as the UTA passed onward.

Dungeons & Dragons & Demons & Wagons
The UTA brings its second season to a hearty finish

[Dear me, a post I forget to flesh out and make not GM-only. Apologies! Well, here are my notes from post-session]

Battle with dragon in Proving Grounds (Rusty, Vanguard highlights)
Azuzu’s visit (Rusty’s bargain, Vanguard’s potion)
Scarmaker (Rusty’s attack, ritual disrupted, Rusty’s dad)

Travel to Winterhaven by way of Paldemar/Nimozaran

Vignettes (to be published periodically, beginning with Vanguard as part of this post)
Vanguard: wagon chase, Bornfist’s sponsor in Fallcrest
Leif: temple tells of Avandra’s civil war in astral sea
Finn: Grimmjow will begin constructing arch to Shadowfell, unsettling business maneuvers
Rusty: father incurable, horns and eyes, Azuzu’s visit
Orsik: meeting with Warden, the next rune (4 months is a long time), the Shadowfell


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